Some people have been “the strong one” for so long that they don't know how to be anything else.

People call them when there's a problem. Their family depends on them. Friends come to them for advice. At work, they're the one who figures things out. When life gets difficult, everyone assumes they'll manage because they always have.

And most of the time, they do. Until carrying everyone else starts becoming a heavy burden. Because the strong one gets tired too.

Sometimes you want someone else to have the answer. You want to be able to call someone and say, “I don't know what to do.” You want someone to check on you for a change. You want to be able to say you're having a hard time without feeling like you need to have everything under control.

But when people are used to seeing you cope, it can be difficult to admit that you're not coping as well as they think.

So you keep going.

There's a moment in Exodus 17 that gives us a very different picture of strength.

Israel was fighting the Amalekites, and Moses stood on a hill overlooking the battle. As long as his hands were raised, Israel would keep winning.

But the battle lasted longer than Moses' strength did. And in Exodus 17:12, Scripture tells us Moses' hands grew tired. So Aaron and Hur brought him something to sit on. Then they stood beside him, one on each side, and held his hands up.

Moses was the person everyone was depending on for strength. Yet there came a point when he couldn't keep doing what needed to be done without someone helping him.

That's an important picture for those of us who are used to being needed.

There will be days when the person who encourages everyone else needs encouragement. The person everyone calls for advice won't know what to do. The person who keeps the family together may need a shoulder to cry on. The person who prays for everyone else may need someone to sit with them and pray.

You can be strong and still reach your limit. And when you do, it’s ok to admit it.

Sometimes being the strong one can feel lonely. You spend so much time checking on everyone else that eventually you start wondering, “Who checks up on me?”

But here's something worth thinking about: do the people around you actually know when you need them?

When someone asks how you're doing, do you tell them “I'm fine”? When someone offers to help, do you accept the help, or say, “Don’t worry. I've got it”?

Sometimes people really do let us down. But sometimes they simply don't know we're struggling because we haven't told them. Like Moses, maybe the people around you need to see that you're tired too.

That might mean telling a friend you're having a hard time, asking someone to pray for you, or simply saying yes when someone you trust offers to help.

They may not be able to fix what you're going through. But sometimes you don't need someone to fix it. You just need someone to help you through it.

Aaron and Hur couldn't take Moses' place on that hill. But when his hands could no longer stay up, he didn't have to hold them up alone.

Tell someone when things are getting heavy. You don't need to tell everyone everything. Start with someone you trust. Sometimes “I'm having a difficult time” is enough to open a conversation you've needed for months.

Let people do something for you. If someone offers help and you genuinely need it, try not to say no. Let them make the meal, watch the children, make the call, sit with you or pray with you. You don't always have to be the person giving.

Know when you have enough on your plate. Every problem doesn't have to become your problem. There will be times when you simply don't have anything more to give. Saying “I can't do that right now” doesn't mean you don't care.

Have someone you can be honest with. We all need someone we don't have to say “I'm fine” to when we're not. Someone we can talk to, ask for prayer, and lean on when we're the one having a hard time.

Maybe you've been the strong one for so long that you've started to believe it's who you have to be. The one who knows what to do. The one who keeps going. The one who doesn't need much from anybody.

But Moses' story reminds us that needing help doesn't erase all the strength it took to get you this far. When his hands became tired, he didn't stop being Moses. He didn't become less capable or less important. He was simply a man who had reached the point where he needed someone beside him.

And maybe you need to hear that too.

You don't have to wait until you completely fall apart before you let someone know you're tired. You don't have to keep proving that you can carry what is already becoming too heavy.

There is no prize for making it through a difficult season without letting anybody help you.

Sometimes strength is holding on. And sometimes strength is admitting, “I can't hold this by myself anymore.”

✝ Kingdom Mantra