Can I be honest?

One thing has always puzzled me about the Christian life.

Why do some of the people who seem to be seeking God the most sometimes feel the furthest away from Him?

You would think it would be the opposite.

You would expect every prayer to make His presence feel more obvious. You would expect reading your Bible to make Him feel closer. You would expect seeking Him to make everything clearer.

Yet many Christians have experienced seasons where none of that seemed to happen.

They kept praying. They kept reading God's Word. They kept showing up. But somehow, Jesus still felt distant.

And that can be deeply confusing because you do not know what changed.

You start wondering if you have done something wrong. If God is disappointed in you. If He has stopped listening. Or if everyone else is experiencing a version of God that you somehow cannot find.

If you have ever felt that way, you are not alone.

One of the easiest mistakes to make in a season like this is assuming that what you feel reflects what is true.

When God feels close, it is easy to believe He is working. When God feels distant, it is easy to believe He has stepped away. But if the Bible teaches us anything, it is that God can be working even when we cannot see it.

David had that struggle too. In Psalm 22:1, he cried out: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

David felt abandoned. He felt alone. He felt like God had forsaken him in the middle of his pain. Yet when you read the rest of David's story, you discover something important. God never abandoned him at all.

David's feelings were real, but they were not the truth.

The same can be true for us.

There are seasons when God feels silent but is still listening. Seasons when He feels distant but is still present. Seasons when nothing seems to be changing even though He is working in ways we cannot yet see.

That does not make the waiting easy. But it does mean that feeling abandoned and actually being abandoned are not the same thing.

For many Christians, this is where the fear becomes personal.

It's one thing to believe God loves everyone. It's another thing to believe He still loves you after you've failed again. That is often why seasons of struggle feel so lonely. Every time you fall, shame takes over and you think.

Maybe God is tired of you.
Maybe you've asked for forgiveness too many times.
Maybe this is the mistake that finally pushed Him away.

The problem is that shame and conviction are not the same thing. Conviction draws you back to God. Shame pushes you away from Him.

Think about Peter. He was one of the disciples Jesus was really close to, and yet he denied Jesus three times. Not in private. Publicly. Repeatedly. At the very moment Jesus needed him most.

Yet after the resurrection, Jesus did not rebuke Peter or stay away from him. He moved toward him. He restored him. He gave him purpose again. That is worth remembering.

The people who think God is finished with them are often the very people He is still pursuing. They just don’t feel it yet.

One of the things I love about Scripture is how honest it is. The disciples walked with Jesus, talked with Jesus, and watched Him perform miracles. And yet there were still moments when they felt completely abandoned by Him.

Think about the storm in Mark 4. The waves were crashing into the boat, the disciples were terrified, and some of them were experienced fishermen who thought they were going to die. Meanwhile, Jesus was asleep.

Can you imagine what that must have felt like?

They were fighting for their lives while Jesus appeared completely unconcerned.

That sounds a lot like some seasons of life. You are praying, you are struggling, you are trying to stay faithful, and Jesus feels quiet.

The disciples eventually woke Him and asked: "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

What a human question. The storm made them feel He was absent. He was not.

Keep talking to Him.

I know that sounds simple, but it matters more than you think.

When God feels distant, our natural reaction is often to pull away. We pray less. We read our Bible less. We stop bringing Him the challenges we are struggling with because it feels pointless.

But distance is not the time to stop talking to God. It is the time to be more honest with Him than ever.

David did not hide his confusion from God. Neither did Job. Neither did Jeremiah. They asked questions. They expressed their frustration. They told God exactly how they felt.

That is one of the reasons I love the Psalms. They remind us that God loves a honest prayers.

If you feel disappointed, tell Him.
If you feel confused, tell Him.
If you feel abandoned, tell Him.

You do not have to clean up your emotions before bringing them to God. Bring them exactly as they are.

A relationship grows weaker when people stop talking. The same is true here. Keep talking to Him, even when you do not feel Him. Keep praying, even when it feels like nothing is changing. Keep showing up.

Because faith is not proven when everything makes sense. It is proven when you keep walking with God even when it doesn't.

One of the hardest parts of following God is that He does not always feel close.

Joseph probably felt forgotten in prison. David probably felt forgotten in the caves. Job certainly felt forgotten in his suffering. Yet all three eventually discovered the same thing: God had been working the entire time.

Hebrews 13:5 says: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Notice what God does not promise. He does not promise that you will always feel His presence or understand His plans. He promises that He will not leave.

If Jesus feels distant today, hold on to what you know about Him rather than what you currently feel about Him.

One day, you may look back on this season and realise that the God you thought was absent was closer than you ever knew.

✝ Kingdom Mantra

Father,

Some days it feels like You are close. Other days, I struggle to feel You at all.

I bring You the questions I do not have answers to, the prayers that still feel unanswered, and the struggles that have not yet gone away.

When I feel distant from you, help me remember what is true. Remind me that Your presence is not measured by my emotions and that Your promises remain the same even when my circumstances do not.

Give me the strength to keep praying when I feel discouraged, to keep trusting when I cannot see what You are doing, and to keep coming back to You when I am tempted to pull away.

Thank You that You are patient with me, faithful to me, and closer than I realise.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.